Okay, it's late October and I am in the American Fork Wal-Mart, trying to decided which kind of juice I want to buy. I'm in a half-squat and not really paying attention when suddenly I feel "WHACK" "WHACK" on my back. I turn around to face my assaulter (I had come to Wal-Mart alone and couldn't imagine anyone I know being there...) To see a man with an Iron-man mask on, holding a light-saber with his large belly hanging out his too small t-shirt. I had absolutely no idea who the guy was.
ME: "ouch"
Ironman: "oh sh%^, I thought you were my wife." exit stage left.
A few thoughts on this experience:
1. don't go to Wal-mart alone.
2. I hope he doesn't hit his wife as hard as he hit me being as I had some lovely welts the next day.
3. I hope I never see him or his belly again.
4. I really hope that is not his Halloween costume, it really doesn't match.
5. Do not marry someone who would ever dream of assaulting someone un-provoked in walmart.
Now moving on to my next experience. I have had a few health issues lately and my doctor wants me to get a colonoscopy. How sad. I know that the majority of people that will be reading this know that I loveto talk about poop and think that I would be excited to have this procedure done. Nope. No thanks. Anyways, I ended up re-scheduling the scope aka invasion because of insurance issues and I promise to let you all know how it goes when it does happen :) So before the cancellation I went to Target for some stuff (I love Target and have not been assaulted there.) Anyways to prep for a colonoscopy you have to drink 3 bottles of magnesium citrate, or what I like to call "turbo lax" (thank you dumb and dumber).
1. don't go to Wal-mart alone.
2. I hope he doesn't hit his wife as hard as he hit me being as I had some lovely welts the next day.
3. I hope I never see him or his belly again.
4. I really hope that is not his Halloween costume, it really doesn't match.
5. Do not marry someone who would ever dream of assaulting someone un-provoked in walmart.
Now moving on to my next experience. I have had a few health issues lately and my doctor wants me to get a colonoscopy. How sad. I know that the majority of people that will be reading this know that I loveto talk about poop and think that I would be excited to have this procedure done. Nope. No thanks. Anyways, I ended up re-scheduling the scope aka invasion because of insurance issues and I promise to let you all know how it goes when it does happen :) So before the cancellation I went to Target for some stuff (I love Target and have not been assaulted there.) Anyways to prep for a colonoscopy you have to drink 3 bottles of magnesium citrate, or what I like to call "turbo lax" (thank you dumb and dumber).
So I get up to the check out and this happens:
kid:"Can I see your ID?"
my thoughts:WTH? Then I notice the I'm in training badge. ha ha poor kid
me: "Sure...Do you usually ID people when they buy this?"
kid:"We ID everyone that looks under 40."
my thoughts: ???????????????????????????????
me:"Ok, but you know this is not alcohol right?"
kid:"Oh, what is it?"
me:"Have you seen Dumb and Dumber? it's basically Turbo Lax."
kid:"I didn't know it came in glass bottles."
me:"ha ha yeah..."
kid:"Can I see your ID?"
my thoughts:WTH? Then I notice the I'm in training badge. ha ha poor kid
me: "Sure...Do you usually ID people when they buy this?"
kid:"We ID everyone that looks under 40."
my thoughts: ???????????????????????????????
me:"Ok, but you know this is not alcohol right?"
kid:"Oh, what is it?"
me:"Have you seen Dumb and Dumber? it's basically Turbo Lax."
kid:"I didn't know it came in glass bottles."
me:"ha ha yeah..."
Really?! As if it's not embarrassing enough to be purchasing a large amount of laxatives, he has to ID me?! ha ha I guess I attract awkwardness. So in short I am grateful for these experiences because they have kept me from having an overly boring life. Happy Holidays everyone! My new camera should be here anyday and then you will be blessed with my camera happiness! Peace!
1 comments:
Rachael, you are so funny! I can't believe that creepy guy in Wal-Mart. I have been there a few times alone and it really is quite frightening. Sometimes it feels like you cross the border or something when you go there, ha ha! What's going on that you need a Colonoscopy for? Are you okay? I miss you at work! Hope you love your new job!
-Corinne Larsen
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